She's Not Just A Pretty Face
After I figured out that I have Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria I really started to question all of my motives. Am I doing this because I am scared of rejection and the pain associated with it?
Let me just give you a little background of what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is. During the Women's Palooza last week I listened to an AMAZING webinar called "Shame and Fear of Rejection" with Bill Dodson.
The key points from the webinar as to what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is:
- Dysphoria means unbearable. People with RSD perceive or anticipate that they have disappointed someone. We feel intense pain; intense, unbearable pain.
--> This leads to shame and bad self-esteem
- Shame. This is "the master emotion". Shame is what holds you back and isolates you. It prevents you from getting help.
- We see ourselves in the reactions of other people.
- People are constantly telling you who you are, what you are & what you do are wrong.
- They are wrong, broken, flawed. It becomes who they are. Which results in hopelessness, despair, never feeling like they fit in.
- We will always be able to tell you what we did wrong, where we went wrong.
--> We will not be able to think about or do anything else. It is all that we can think about.
- We think that everyone feels this way. It is exhausting.
- Huge resentment when they get older because they feel like they are always doing everything for everyone else. They feel like "when is it their turn to get what they want". They feel extorted.
2. People pleasers. Especially girls; they are socialized to think that they need to keep everyone else happy. They are constantly making sure that everybody is happy with them. Males don't typically get that message.
3. Some people give up and stop trying anything new because failing is terrifying, we take it very personally.
4. We end up isolating and removing ourselves to avoid rejection.
- You will learn how to be successful in the world with your adhd nervous system.
- This person will be your "cheerleader". Make sure that it is someone that mirrors you.
Neuro-typical people aren't going to get you.
- This person will understand you and that you are a good human. They will recognize that there is something invisible that is getting in your way.
- They will not look to other people to tell them what is good about them. We will decide for ourselves.
- If you choose to go the medication route and it works for you, the neurological playing field will be level.
- You will be able to review your life & make the decision of who you are and what you want. It sounds very silly, but my planner has already helped me to take a huge leap in that direction.
- The outcome is that the person will be able to make a personal, permanent, positive decision about their own self-worth! - Dr. Bill Dodson
** please note that I have paraphrased most, if not all of this information from Dr. Bill Dodson!